change

[robinsnest]

 I've been reflecting a lot on change this weekend. Rob left me last night to go to a concert and play a memorial video he put together for a musician we knew at the Ren Faire (yes I was invited. no I didn't want to go. I was feeling quiet). I haven't seen said musician in a long time or the band, but looking at the short snippets he shot on his phone it's weird to me that only one of the original band members is remaining from 2006...but then 2006 was 13 years ago. Wasn't my summer romance to his man I married just yesterday? 

So I was sitting at home alone and feeling nostalgic. Last night was the Francaise Dinner and I was feeling nostalgic for the simpler times. I'm sad that an event I loved so much and helped start is a place where I no longer feel welcome. I miss the times when my costume life and friendships didn't feel so damn complicated. I am well aware of my faults and contributions to the great schism but...while I don't want to go back to the way it was before sometimes it's easy to view those times with rose colored glasses. It also feels like last year not seven years ago...where did the time go? I wish the fences could be mended and friendships that are lost could at least not feel like scars and instead like acquaintances. I know at least I'm not the person I was. How could I be? I think something as major as a career change from theater to nursing has to change you in some ways. I hope it's for the better. 

And I do hope that this new group of costumers that I see going to the Francaise Dinner now and I can be friends someday. I do love meeting new people and making new friends. It's kind of strange to realize we aren't the "new" generation of costumers, there's a whole wave who have never heard of LJ or long for the days of dress diaries. Hell they think blogs are out dated probably. 

Well Rob's going to drag me to captain marvel today, perhaps that can pull me out of my nostalgic fog. 

Comments

[sewtimely]

I had a split like that too. Best not to dwell.

Any chance you could reconnect with other costumers in other ways? I just set up a monthly sewing circle for my costume friends.

[ktlovely]

There is hope, sometimes. Gwendolyn and I were apart for almost a decade, I think, and we've been able to pick up our friendship again with new eyes, more experience, greater respect, and greater wisdom. Of course...I got wine drunk and sent her an apology to kickstart things, so maybe not the best methodology there, but it worked out in the end! Depending on the person or people you're talking about, it might be worth it?

[bauhausfrau]

Sometimes getting wine drunk is indeed the answer. ;)

[koshka_the_cat]

I still think everyone is my age. No, everyone is younger, except the people I've known for ages. It's so weird.

I wish the schisms could end too. Sigh. But we still have good friends in this hobby <3

[howlgirl]

Facebook tells me in a few days it will be the 9 year anniversary for my schism... mostly I feel better offf without them, but it's still hard some days.

[bauhausfrau]

If you feel like it you could reach out. It can be really hard to reach out, but sometimes it' helps. Other times the only thing to do is move on.

I wish there wasn't so much drama in the costuming world. I just want everyone to be friends you know?

And man, so with you on the nostalgia. Getting older sucks.

[mala_14]

*hugs* People/relationships/friendships are complicated. I feel that so much. I think that you're a lovely person and that anyone would be lucky to be friends with you! I hope that you can restore the relationships that you want and feel free to let the undesirable ones go.