Costumer white elephant

I am going to a 12th night tea this weekend with a yankee gift exchange. I was given strick instructions that it is NOT a white elephant and should be good things....My brain rambles so while in the shower tonight and brainstorming what to actually bring I realized the white elephant ideas were SO MUCH BETTER

1. The $25 Joann's gift card I never actually used and my old Joann's apron 

2. A Reconstructing history pattern (I'm sure I have one around here SOMEWHERE)

3. Bum roll stuffed with Ellie Fluff

4. Bag of acrylic yarn I inherited from the grandmother

And this is why I was given strict directions...