sewloud

 I'm going to steal a page from brickhousewench and do a good news Friday post. 

1. I survived my work week and I'm off from my real job till Tuesday! I have to do 4 hours on Saturday at the office job but that's just easy fun money.  

2. I got a $3/hr raise at work! for no reason! well not for NO reason but they evaluated everyone's salary and they're trying to "be more competitive" which is crazy to me as they did the same thing last year and I got a $4 raise so yeah in a year I'm up $7!? cray. 

3. I'm going to Disney with my favorite kid for his Make-a-Wish trip and I'm crazy excited! We are going to have SO MUCH fun. It'll be me, him, the director of nursing and the recreational therapist. Sometime in March not sure the exact dates yet. Rob's thinking of going to disney at the same time and staying with his friend Ryan who works there and we could meet up for dinner or something. 

4. Ellie got groomed on Tuesday so she's super soft and less sheddy. 

5. Ellie starts class on Monday! It's her second level obedience class which is the pre-requisite for the therapy dog class. I'm also stupid excited for that.

6. I did some sewing on my 1830s stays. I got all the gores put in and I'm up to the "now you have to figure out the cording pattern, oh and where did you PUT the cording" 

Today my plan is to work on the cording, poke the embroidery, and find the coffee table as I have friends coming for sewing day on Sunday which I'm greatly looking forward to.  

I haven't posted much here. bad me. There isn't a ton TO post. Lets see still working a lot. Still really enjoying my job. Have a mountain of events coming up at the end of the summer and paralyzed unable to start sewing any of them for some unknown reason.

I have my period and I was woken up passing a huge clot this morning, I feel weepy and disgusting. I am due for an annual and my previous GYN got absorbed by another practice. I only saw her one time, should I look for someone less than 30 min from where I live? maybe. I suspect things in there are complicated and I need to face them.

Rob is...well I think he's making progress. It's small but I can see it. He's had a bad couple of days so it's hard to remember how far we've come. I feel protective of him. His therapist was in a car accident so she wasn't in last week, won't be in this week and the week after is the 4th. I feel torn about what to do. He really really likes this therapist. but he also said to me last week "I can tell I'm not ready to go ever other week" I feel frustrated about that. He's negotiating for work on a film he was really excited to work on, but they blew most of their budget earlier in the process so...I don't know as long as he's making more than minimum wage I guess I should be happy.

The raspberry canes are having their biannual glut. 17 cups picked so far. I made jam tonight and blithely dumped an 8 cup pyrex plus one cup for a recipe that called for 5 cups. Only realized it when I was combining yesterday and today's berries. D'OH! Well it made jam...it's just rather tart and dark in color and when it cools may be so thick it's...hard. OOPS. Guess we'll see when it cools? Who likes low sugar tart jam?

 I keep sitting down to journal and staring at a blank cursor....Firstly thank you SO MUCH for the amazing gifts and cards. I am humbled and touched and feel so so loved. And very excited to start many a knitting project. I've already started a pin ball from a little kit from [Bad username or unknown identity: koshka_the_cat, i] haven't taken any photos yet as I'm still in the "knit 20 rows" and it's very boring. 14 rows in it's about 5/8"? I'm too lazy to find a ruler.

I haven't been on here a lot because the new job, while good, is currently taking a lot out of me. It's not that it's impossibly hard or anything, it's just hard that I'm not used to and haven't mastered. There's lots of skills and knowledge I haven't touched since nursing school. I had to go back and review ventilators and what all the numbers MEAN. So by the time I get up at 5:30, leave at 6:15, work from 7-7 and get home by 7:30 I kind of stare at the walls for a while, eat what food Rob puts in front of me and go to sleep. I think the 12 hour day will be awesome when I'm more adjusted and can enjoy my 4 days off a week (granted I'm still working 1-2 days a week at the OLD job so I'm working more than 40 hours a week). 

Things with Rob actually seem to be a little better. It's small things like he'll do dishes without asking, or I came home one day and he had picked up the living room and dining room. He's seeing a therapist every week and had an appointment with a psychiatrist on Wednesday. So we have a plan to try adjusting his meds and while I want to skip ahead to the point of "we have a great medication plan that works and is test" I realize that's not going to happen. But I'll take the small boosts. 

2018 feels like a big scary hole. Will I get this job under control so I'm not a zombie? Will I start to enjoy it and not feel like I'm barely keeping it together soon? Will Rob continue to improve? Will we get our finances right side up (PLEASE GOD)? I want to feel hopeful about the New Year. and I guess as I'm at heart an optimist I'm trying to think about the good. So I raise my glass to all of you my beloved LJ/DW friends. Thank you for being here for me when I need it and I promise to try and be better about posting.

Well I did get offered a job...not sure if I'm going to take it...I feel iffy about it, but the paycheck would be great...going to ponder it. I have a meeting scheduled to meet the child the one-on-one is for a week from today which is after I have my OTHER job interview next week. So I have time to ponder it and evaluate other options. 

Then I went and worked an estate sale (I've been doing that for extra money) this time they needed someone else so Rob came and that meant I basically got paid double...I mean what's his is mine right?! Plus she paid us with a $50 bill so it's in MY wallet. MWAH HAHA. 

Came home. ate dinner. cleaned the kitchen a bit. and then cut out both my alphabet dress AND ballgown bodices. I finished hemming the alphabet skirt and whipped down the waistband.It's done sans hook and eye which I need to buy apparently. I can't keep flat hooks and bars around for some reason.  

I'm in major denial that tomorrow is Friday and I have to go to work. murph. I also am in no way ready for a party on Saturday...

 Coming up briefly for air...I'm still alive. My job is crazy at the moment. We're switching offices and that involves moving and packing and it's been a bit of a shit show. I'm working 6 days instead of my normal 4 a week. I came home from my 12 hour shift today and was ready to drop. Packing is just so much more physical and uses more brain power than what is routine. 

So yeah no sewing, nothing interesting...but I'm not dead yet! 

So brickhousewench gave me a push that I should post periodically.

Let's see I'm alive. The house seems to be moving forward *knock on wood* We got our morgatge committment and closing is set for the 18th. Still not feeling relaxed until we have keys in hand, but you know there's that.

Packing. My life is full of boxes, piles, packing tape. O.O I don't do super well with massive, overwhelming projects...just trying to slowly chip away at it. We have until the 12th of April until we have to be out of the apartment, so that leaves us time to paint, clean, move in then paint clean and leave the apt.

Work is still fabulous, we're down a doctor at the moment as he's overseas starting health clinics in a few countries. I know they started in Cambodia but I didn't get more than that. So that leaves the remaining ones extra busy. We're also desperately hiring another nurse, should anyone know an RN looking for a job in pediatric primary care.

Anyway so all in all overwhelmed, forgetting things, tired but finally inching out of my funk.

After work today I got more rhombi cut out and the ruffles made to go around them. I think it's going to take 4 or 5 more, not positive. So I'm going to start with four and see. *fingers crossed*

No pictures as that doesn't seem worthy of a photo.

Also, I really really really wish I could get my feet under me more at this job. When it get really busy I just can't keep up. wherever I am I feel like gets bogged down. If it's quiet and I'm not rushed I'm great, but as soon as there are four angry people in line who ALL want my attention and have fancy insurance issues..well...I just can't seem to keep up...then it gets worse and worse. *sigh*.

Tomorrow I open and Fridays are notoriously busy, but I get my first paycheck so there is that. 

So I didn't make any dress progress tonight, but I had a rather significant day.

You see, heavily inspired by my multiple friends who have gone back to school (madamekat and a few others) I have decided to go back to school for nursing.  Yes I'm going to actually have a job where I get to improve peoples lives! make a difference in the world, and actually have a decent salary. I'm REALLY excited about it. 

I'm hoping to enter a second degree bachelor's program, but before I do that I have to take all the science pre-requisites over because it's been more than 5 years since I took college level biology and high school level chemistry. Today I had my very first Biology and Chemistry classes and Monday I start Developmental Psychology. 

This career change has been a long time coming, I've known I wasn't going to be a professional costumer anymore in 2008 and have been trying to figure out what to do with myself since then. I thought RH would be the perfect fit because I could be in the hobby without sewing 60 hours a week, but that didn't work out. And if I'm honest with myself, I enjoy costuming more when it's no pressure and just for me, so if I mess something up or decide not to finish no one but me cares! so my Hobby will go back to being a beloved hobby and my work life will have a meaningful existence again. 

Granted that's assuming I can pass Biology 101 and Chemistry 101..but the classes FELT really good today. So fingers crossed. Now if I could just find another $500 for books...anyone want something from my etsy store?

Trying to work on a resume...mostly just staring at a cursor. I haven't ever made a non-theater resume. This is so foreign and strange to me! What the hell is my objective? If I knew that I don't think this would be as hard...

So I'm at my parents house after a weekend excursion into the Catskill mountains with my Sister, Brother-in-law, adopted Sister, adopted BIL, Husband and Brother. It was really wonderful. When there's nothing but the stars to look at and a campfire to cook with you find it kind of easy to shut off. The nights were brisk, in the 20s, but we had fancy warm sleeping bags and a roaring fire.

On Saturday morning we hiked up this trail to Artists Rock which has a stunning view all up the Hudson River Valley. It was a favorite painting spot of the Hudson River school artists and I can see why, it's a gorgeous view for miles. Farther up the mountain was Sunset Rock which faced west into the canyon and had a stunning view of the twin lakes North-South Lake campsite is named for. I'll post pictures when I figure out how to extract them from my brothers camera.

Now I'm at my parents house and surrounded by all the things I find comforting and yet feeling a little lost. These pink walls (yup my mom let me pick my room color when I was 9..) are a world where everything is okay. And outside here I don't really know what to do. It reminds me how incredibly blessed I was to grow up as a child where this house is my safe place and I didn't have to look elsewhere for that.  I fear I'll never be able to provide a child with the kind of stability my parents did.

On the car ride to my parents from the campground Rob started telling me that he thinks we should shoot instructional sewing videos. All kinds, historical and not. Perhaps paired with a pattern, perhaps including drafting your own. For example, you will need XYZ pattern and this DVD to create this entire outfit. I know sewing tutorials are very useful, I'm just sure there's a market for selling DVDs like that, or even downloadable one offs. I did think a DVD of advanced sewing techniques might be useful, welt pockets, bound buttonholes, sewing a packet, etc. I don't know, but it's possible we'll try. After all all we'd pay for is "labor" and at the moment I have that in spades. And I have a professional Film maker in my living room most days...I wish this feeling of anger and dread would dissipate.