sewloud

Here's my plan to be ready for the picnic on saturday.

Tuesday: I'm working so my goal is to sew one armscye (I'm handsewing)

Wednesday: also working, sew another armscye

Thursday: make a petticoat and alter my stay straps to stop falling off my Mother-fucking-shoulders

Friday: working, hem short gown and sleeves

saturday: paaartay



It's currently in the hideously-dumpy stage...

 well this was the wildest weekend I've had in ages. 

Saturday:

Amanda, Jess, Mackenzie and I are all finally fully vaccinated so we all felt comfortable gathering for a sewing day. It was heavenly to see my friends again and it was downright strange now normal it felt. If I closed my eyes and took a breath it was as if 2020 hadn't happened at all. All was right in the world and I got to laugh, vent, and snark. We watched the entierty of Bridgerton. Thankfully Jess has seen it before so while we talked over it, yelled at costumes and bad ideas of birth control she could catch us back up on plot points we missed. I can't say I had any interest in watcching it alone, but it was the perfect trash to watch with girlfriends and be aghast about haha. I event got a suprising amount done on my new regency short gown. I cut it out on Saturday morning before I headed over and managed to get the bodice assembled and lined (I used the jacket construction techniques from costume close up), the neckline hemmed and the CF edges hemmed. Which I thought was impressive considering we also had tea delivered from the tea house, 8 hours of trash TV and pizza...

Sunday:

Aubry organized a zoom sillouette party which I was both excited for and nervous. I wore my Victorian tea gown as I feel pretty in it, I put make up on for the first time since November as I thought I might shoot photos but then I didn't feel like putting on shoes or petticoats so I didn't bother. But I was shocked by how...un RED I looked. My face is very angry with constant N95s at work. I have rosacia everwhere and skin breakdown on my nose. I think mine turned out really cute, not as stunning as others but I just didn't have as exciting an outfit. Then we after-partied on Jenny-Rose's fancy paid zoom account till...9pm? after that but before 10pm. and frankly that was also lovely just hanging out with Aubry, Jenny-Rose, Sara and Me shooting the shit. I also sewed the drawstring channel for the neckline. 

Monday: 

I woke up fucking on fumes. I'm not used to any social interaction and I had two full days. It was amazing but I was also feeling very dissociated. But no rest for the weary, we had to take Ellie to the vet for her 5 year check up. She's very healthy and was thrilled with all the attention and love. Probably less so with her vaccines but had forgotten those by the time she got to the car. I came home and napped. I sewed one and a hafl skirt seams and ordered pizza for dinner. Now we're watching time team while I stress about work tomorrow. 

Well mostly. The hem was a machined rolled hem that needs to come up an inch (which is great so I can hand hem it). But overall I was happy with it! I think I want to strategically place the front gathers and tack them in places as the faille wants to just explode into one BIG pleat.





So lets see here's the real event write up: I left on time and arrived 15 min late because traffic sucks and there was an accident closing some road. Also I was starving and ate 75% of my lunch in the car... But I quickly found the other cars of people half dressed in the parking lot. It was a stunningly gorgeous day, which mean there were lots of people out but it's a HUGE park and we didn't have any trouble tucking ourselves away.



I confess I expected just Me, Amanda, Alice, Adrienne, Mackenzie and Jess and Meredith surprised me the night before by saying she was coming. so when Erica-Anne and her husband showed up I was very surprised and pleased and then Alexandra showed up too! It was PERFECT. Just enough people to feel like An Event! but not so many that I didn't get to chat with everyone at some point.



We ate our unimpressive lunches on some very suitable wooden picnic tables that were even nice enough to not be offensively modern. Then wandered around the cloisters taking a few photos while headed in the general direction of "the bathroom" Then we broke off and everyone sans meredith and Adrienne took the 10 min walk to the bathrooms. This was probably the most contact we had with other people. But almost everyone wore masks (and EVERYONE in our party) and we were outside and keeping space was easy. I felt safe and it was SO NICE to be out in the world being silly with friends.



The bathrooms are VERY unimpressive at valley forge FYI. we admired the vistas then wandered back to the cemetery, which is also pretty unimpressive. It was really filled in post WWII and by then most people had kinda boring headstones. I both want to be buried in a huge offensive monument and also think it would be a stupid waste of money.



From there we ended up back in the gorgeous gothic cloisters outside the chapel and pretty much took over one side and sat in a big circle and read Poe to each other. Next time I need to prepare better. Amanda had hers memorized and I felt very shown up ;-) We also of course took a ton of dramatic photos.



Amanda made me this STUNNING bonnet, I was very skeptical of 40s style bonnets and my face shape (would I be all jowels ala hitchcock) but I was really surprised how much I liked it.



Adrienne very kindly leant me her antique mourning veil and I have to say it was SO FUN to wear and almost an exprience. You have a fascinating amount of social..protection? space? isolation? inherent in it. Someone asked me if it was my wedding. Someone else asked if there was a funeral. And the BEST part was some lady was sneaking photos of us and gave Meredith $20 at the end! That's most definitely never happened before. haha. We all bought a beverage at the chapel gift shop and told them to keep the rest.





all in all it was a delighfully easy event. Would definitely do a poe picnic next fall now that we all have the clothes! And now that I understand the period a bit more I'd like to make a cotton dress in an absurd print. And buy a mourning veil, or make one. Then I was wired and couldn't sleep till after 11 and Ellie woke me at 4:30 and I couldn't fall back asleep so today was interesting at work...

How do I ALWAYS do this to myself. The Poe picnic is in a week and I have....ahem...not much to show for it. I did a second mock up yesterday and was very pleased with my pattern. This morning I transferred it to a final pattern (go me i usually cut off the mock up and don't have a record) and cut out the bodice and sleeves from silk and cotton lining...then I sat and starred at it for a while, took a nap, generally was a waste of oxygen....I'm kinda not sure how I'm going to finish this dress in a week? I mean it's not THAT complicated and I'm not working Monday, Thursday, Friday but still...



So far tonight I have the darts sewn in the lining and the boning channels sewn in them. I marked all the lines for hand gathering. There are 20 total...I should really really start that....

My goal for tomorrow is Finish all the gathering, get the side panels attached to the bodice and the side seams sewn. Someone poke me to be productive....still very annoyed at my own incapability of productivity. 

Me "Okay I'll do 18th century mitts great!" *Logs onto the computer and looks at Cocovid schedule* SOMEONE IS TEACHING THAT EXACT THING ALREADY I seriously can't catch a break and I QUIT. 

Also I'm both really glad we didn't go to Gettysburg and worried about Dave as he told me he's been having high fevers since 4pm yesterday and I'm legit worried about him :-/ 

FUCK YOU 2020 I QUIT  

STILL have no plan for a video for Sunday.

I was musing on Facebook about what would I do a video on if I wanted to join Cocovid and Dave from Victorian Photography studio suggested we take a trip to Gettysburg and do a video about colors and how they translate in collodion photography. "you'll have to get tintypes of all your dresses" GEE TWIST MY ARM. I actually am excited about this, a one on one video when we can easily maintain 6 feet feels like an AMAZING chance to SEE PEOPLE and wear fun clothes. The plan is to bring everything I own from 1860-1890...except I don't own anything from 1890. But remember how last time I did a video I was seriously jonesing for an 1890s wash dress? ...no?...well I was. So my plan WAS to work on one this weekend with fabric I had that was PERFECT. I got the pattern made on saturday and washed the fabric sunday and today discovered that I was in fact losing the game of Fabric chicken. I thought I had 4 yards, was actually closer to 3 after washing. Would you like sleeves and a front panel or side back and back panels? you can't have both...oooookay. plan B it is. Rob offered to go to Joann's with me (I'm assuming because it is near Red Robin and we got take out for dinner) and holy shite guys is their stock low! There was literally ONE passable pattern with enough yardage and even then it was two bolts so I'm going to have to pay attention to cutting. clearly mask making has cleaned them out. But it was actually weirdly nice to get out of the house and shop, there were only 3 or 4 other customers there so it was actually pretty easy to feel safe doing it, and I didn't see a single penis nose! 







Ideally I'd have liked a stripe but...beggars apparently can't be choosers, but I DO think this one has the potential to photograph interestingly. Lots of colors and pastels go funny sometimes.

Here are a few of my main inspirations







I took the folkwear shirtwaist from 1905 and made it floor length, then I took the sleeves from that pattern and the sleeves from a black snail pattern and made a truly bastardized combo...very responsible of me!



Also I put out a new youtube video today, it's nothing amazing project wise but it's worth watching the beginning of for the Ellie montage, trust me Rob had way too much fun.

I have always been someone who struggled with motivation. but if I'm honest with myself the downturn started on a certain night in November 2016...it did get a bit better when I started my current job and Rob was working so money wasn't as tight but I still had this deep sadness that such a large part of my country just didn't have my world view. Things that seem so obvious to me: we don't sexually assault women, BLM, wealth inequality...just don't to other people.

And then the pandemic hit and I've been going to work and being super functional there, then coming home and being a giant blob of humanity as my house gets dirtier and dirtier. I don't mean like "clutter" as yes there's clutter but there's just dirt on the floors, cob webs in the corner and I'm pretty sure that clump of dog hair just threatened me to a show down. I've been having consistent nightmares for the last week and a half that someone shows up and sees my house and oh god how mortifying that I am a child who can't pick up after herself. It doesn't help that I live with another child who won't help and a child who also really struggles with motivation.

But I'm trying to say to myself that enough is enough and small progresses must be made. It's hugely overwhelming if I say "today you must clean the whole house" but I'm going to say "tonight the house must be cleaner than when you woke up" (I also struggle with the garden suddenly exploding with weeds and feeling overwhelmed). So today I loaded up the dishwasher and ran it first thing, mind you there are more than one load worth of dishes but we started there. Then I sat for a while and then I got up and folded all the clean laundry in the laundry basket, then the clean laundry in the dryer. I switched the laundry over that I started yesterday and started antoher load. Then I just started to clean up that one corner of the bedroom where all the dirty clothes are piled, and there was a chair for some reason and a suitcase. This suitcase has been moved from house to house always full of "Rob's stuff" and never unpacked. Today we unpacked it. It was packed in 2005 when he left Arizona and moved back to PA. We found condoms that expired in 2006, his high school tighty whiteys, an MP3 player that holds 9 songs (still works too, fun view into his musical tastes), a pile of clothes I threw out, and a camera magazine from 2004 with some truly delightful ads. I felt guilty that I wasnt' finding a fabric recycling for the clothes but...here's the thing I always say I'll start a goodwill pile or a yard sale pile and then they just all merge into a mess on the floor that never goes anywhere. I needed it out.

Anyway we then walked the dog and I weed wacked the paths in the veggie garden. They were just reaching "reasonable people would weed wack this" vs my normal "it's a jungle and over whelms me and TOO LATE" so I was really proud of myself for doing that. (Rob actually finished while I weeded so I felt extra productive). After dinner and a zoom scatagories with my Aunt/Uncle/cousin I was sitting here feeling anxious and antsy so...I got up and hoovered. When I emptied it to start it was full of pine needles....I hadn't vacuumed since taking down the Christmas tree. I am a horrible human. I vacuumed the dining room on my way TOO the bedroom and filled the canister once. Then that corner of our bedroom which suddenly now feels CLEAN. I did around the windows and the cobwebs on the wall and the furry blades of the ceiling fan. and filled the canister again. I don't feel less antsy or anxious but...the bedroom definitely is cleaner than when I woke up so small victories.

 hmm haven't posted in a while, bad me. Although I have been reading a lot? we're still kicking. In some ways it's not really that different here, Rob's got zero work for the foreseeable future, which isn't THAT abnormal for him if I'm honest. He goes very hot and cold. I've stopped being at my second job due to the fact no one is going to the doctor if they can at all avoid it and they asked me to not come in to save payroll. But I was on the verge of saying "I think my risk of exposure at a doctor's office is too high to risk bringing to my main job kids" anyway so it was a win win. For those who missed it I'm an RN at a facility for medically complex kids, most are on Vents or trachs. So far we've kept Covid away from the kids, but I fear it's only a matter of time till a staff member gets sick and brings it inside. It will be catastrophic when it does. 

The general anxiety of the world is starting to get to both of us, Rob's OCD is in fine form (it's germ based....feel bad for him). My response to stress, anxiety and quarantine is unfortunately NOT one of productivity. It's definitely more of a blanket-over-my-head kind. I've been making videos for my youtube channel as a distraction but not really sewing or cleaning or that much productive. Rob has been good about poking us to go out into the garden and work so at least there's that. Today we found half of the garden path that I thought was 12" of bricks and is actually like 36" wide. 

I felt too unsettled to edit video tonight and Rob is super nicely just doing it. I keep saying it can wait, but I think he's enjoying the creative outlet too. 

The weirdest part of Covid-19 is that I feel a fair amount of survivor guilt that I'm a nurse with vent experience and I'm NOT on the front lines, I'm not saving lives or risking mine. I'm not standing in front of cars of idiots or doing anything to really help. Yes my kids would need a nurse either way and no I shouldn't risk bringing it to them but....I could be doing more. 

lets see how did fashion days go....

Friday: It was hella windy on our drive down. We got up decently early and were on the road by 9:30, we drove through a tornado warning and pouring rain and got there around 3:00. by the time we got tickets, got on the bus, and made it to the museum it was time for the 4:00 shoe lecture. We met penwiper right off the bus and I have to say meeting her in person was a definite highlight of a low-key weekend. The shoe lecture was rather general but it was fun to put a face with the famous Neil Hurst (who looked nothing like what I pictured). Then we headed and checked into the swanky time share. They tried valiantly to sell me shit. Amanda threatened a hunger strike if we didn't dress so we did. I wore my linen anglaise as Amanda said she was wearing her least-fancy. (and she nicely let me steal an apron. she has nicer things than me)...We ate at the tavern which was really fun the ambiance was great (the 25% off didn't hurt). There was a guy playing a replica guitar and they seated all the costume groups in the same room so that was fun. Mostly we laughed at the sugar shaker....



after dinner we headed back (with a quick stop at the grocery store where no on blinked or asked if we were amish) and Jenny-Rose showed up and we changed into pjs and stayed up waaaaay too late catching up.

Saturday: We took a VERY leisurely time dressing so it was after noon by the time we were really on the road. I wore my orange Pet with the old green quilted petticoat.I was whining about not finishing my new cloak and my purple one being ugly and Jenny-Rose decided not to dress up and lent me her beautiful FLUFFY PINK ONE.



We went to the mini-market for exactly long enough to tell Taylor "Hi TAYLOR BYE TAYLOR" because it was WALL TO WALL PEOPLE. And can't do that many people. I'd rather pay shipping. We were wandering the streets of Williamsburg by two and looking for lunch. We went to the famous Cheese Shop and Amanda met the famous Mr. Pinset while I peed. if that's not a euphemism for my life ;-)



Finished inhaling lunch in time to make it to the promenade. The most remarkable part of that was that I knew...six whole people...which was very weird for me. But many pretty pictures were taken and fun was had. Then we wandered to the art museum to kill time until the 8pm concert Amanda wanted to go to..but when we showed up it was cancelled 'due to death" so we wandered to Gloria's open house which was nice..if highlighted our outsider status. Jenny-Rose beat us back to the hotel and once again we stayed up talking too late.

Sunday: Got moving at a more expedient pace and dressed before brunch with the celebrity people (Jenny-Rose, Taylor, Cindy, Angela of B&T, Cindy's assistant Alyssa, Lauren) which was quite delicious and we were again exploring Colonial Williamsburg by oneish. We hit up a good chunk of the trades, not all of them but we did manage most of the ones I wanted to see. Except the mantua maker's WHICH WAS CLOSED. I wore my lavender anglaise but this time with the quilted petticoat again and I have to say I was feeling rather unenthused by it but the green really pepped it up for me.



We met up with Gen and had a lot of fun just poking around town. I regret not getting an earlier start on Saturday so we had more time for poking as really everything closes at 4:30 so...early starts would be better.


We caught Neil's second lecture on dressing in the 18th century and it was more cursory than any of us really required but we wanted to be supportive. After that my stomach was done with stays and I could tell I was 30-40 min from vomiting (yes I'm weird i really can tell that) so we went back and changed into comfy clothes and met penwiper for dinner at Panera. It was fun to do a traditional post mortem about what we though.

In summation it was fun, low key, and just what I needed.