sewloud

 well this was the wildest weekend I've had in ages. 

Saturday:

Amanda, Jess, Mackenzie and I are all finally fully vaccinated so we all felt comfortable gathering for a sewing day. It was heavenly to see my friends again and it was downright strange now normal it felt. If I closed my eyes and took a breath it was as if 2020 hadn't happened at all. All was right in the world and I got to laugh, vent, and snark. We watched the entierty of Bridgerton. Thankfully Jess has seen it before so while we talked over it, yelled at costumes and bad ideas of birth control she could catch us back up on plot points we missed. I can't say I had any interest in watcching it alone, but it was the perfect trash to watch with girlfriends and be aghast about haha. I event got a suprising amount done on my new regency short gown. I cut it out on Saturday morning before I headed over and managed to get the bodice assembled and lined (I used the jacket construction techniques from costume close up), the neckline hemmed and the CF edges hemmed. Which I thought was impressive considering we also had tea delivered from the tea house, 8 hours of trash TV and pizza...

Sunday:

Aubry organized a zoom sillouette party which I was both excited for and nervous. I wore my Victorian tea gown as I feel pretty in it, I put make up on for the first time since November as I thought I might shoot photos but then I didn't feel like putting on shoes or petticoats so I didn't bother. But I was shocked by how...un RED I looked. My face is very angry with constant N95s at work. I have rosacia everwhere and skin breakdown on my nose. I think mine turned out really cute, not as stunning as others but I just didn't have as exciting an outfit. Then we after-partied on Jenny-Rose's fancy paid zoom account till...9pm? after that but before 10pm. and frankly that was also lovely just hanging out with Aubry, Jenny-Rose, Sara and Me shooting the shit. I also sewed the drawstring channel for the neckline. 

Monday: 

I woke up fucking on fumes. I'm not used to any social interaction and I had two full days. It was amazing but I was also feeling very dissociated. But no rest for the weary, we had to take Ellie to the vet for her 5 year check up. She's very healthy and was thrilled with all the attention and love. Probably less so with her vaccines but had forgotten those by the time she got to the car. I came home and napped. I sewed one and a hafl skirt seams and ordered pizza for dinner. Now we're watching time team while I stress about work tomorrow. 

Me "Okay I'll do 18th century mitts great!" *Logs onto the computer and looks at Cocovid schedule* SOMEONE IS TEACHING THAT EXACT THING ALREADY I seriously can't catch a break and I QUIT. 

Also I'm both really glad we didn't go to Gettysburg and worried about Dave as he told me he's been having high fevers since 4pm yesterday and I'm legit worried about him :-/ 

FUCK YOU 2020 I QUIT  

STILL have no plan for a video for Sunday.

 hmm haven't posted in a while, bad me. Although I have been reading a lot? we're still kicking. In some ways it's not really that different here, Rob's got zero work for the foreseeable future, which isn't THAT abnormal for him if I'm honest. He goes very hot and cold. I've stopped being at my second job due to the fact no one is going to the doctor if they can at all avoid it and they asked me to not come in to save payroll. But I was on the verge of saying "I think my risk of exposure at a doctor's office is too high to risk bringing to my main job kids" anyway so it was a win win. For those who missed it I'm an RN at a facility for medically complex kids, most are on Vents or trachs. So far we've kept Covid away from the kids, but I fear it's only a matter of time till a staff member gets sick and brings it inside. It will be catastrophic when it does. 

The general anxiety of the world is starting to get to both of us, Rob's OCD is in fine form (it's germ based....feel bad for him). My response to stress, anxiety and quarantine is unfortunately NOT one of productivity. It's definitely more of a blanket-over-my-head kind. I've been making videos for my youtube channel as a distraction but not really sewing or cleaning or that much productive. Rob has been good about poking us to go out into the garden and work so at least there's that. Today we found half of the garden path that I thought was 12" of bricks and is actually like 36" wide. 

I felt too unsettled to edit video tonight and Rob is super nicely just doing it. I keep saying it can wait, but I think he's enjoying the creative outlet too. 

The weirdest part of Covid-19 is that I feel a fair amount of survivor guilt that I'm a nurse with vent experience and I'm NOT on the front lines, I'm not saving lives or risking mine. I'm not standing in front of cars of idiots or doing anything to really help. Yes my kids would need a nurse either way and no I shouldn't risk bringing it to them but....I could be doing more.