the facade is cracking

[robinsnest]

I've been generally doing pretty well with COVID and mental health stuff. First it was just "keep Rob from losing his shit" mode where he didn't leave the house and I did all the shopping and we were all in lock down and the acute phase of quarantine. Then we entered the chronic phase of quarantine where we just kept plodding along. We take trips to the store once or twice a week, I zoom with friends and I really rely on seeing friends at work to feel like I see people...but this weekend my parents got home from a week long vacation with my sister's family (they live much closer) and I couldn't go because i'd have to quarantine for 2 weeks upon returning home. Working with a fragile population just means I have to be careful...and I broke a little. there was a lot of crying. And if I'm honest with myself, I think I've reached my limit for "lack of social"

 I spent three days when I was supposed to be cleaning the house, shooting and editing a youtube video, sewing ANYTHING, canning pickles...you name it ANYTHING, staring at my computer, crying, not showering, watching horrible romantic comedies and laying on the couch in an awkward position till I actually felt nauseated on Sunday night. Oh and did I mention fucking up my sleep schedule? I went to bed after 1am every night this weekend and that means I'll have a really hard time righting the ship to go to work tomorrow...

I did finally this evening after dinner get my butt up to my sewing room. It was significantly cooler up there after two not-horrible days and taped together and cut out of paper the new Virgil's Fine Good's patter I'm a pattern tester for. But then I couldn't find my fabric scissor...it's a good thing I have work tomorrow, it really is the thing helping me stay sane. 

Comments

[beradan]

It's been a rough weekend here, too <3

[marianme]

<3 So hard right now especially with no end date in sight. Grieving the loss of our lives...

Take care.

[danabren]

What marianme said. We are all grieving simultaneous multiple losses. Don't beat yourself up so much about your process.

(But you should still go shower)

[mala_14]

*hugs* That is rough. Sometimes you just need to go through those crappy times, but I hope it doesn't last too long.

[brickhousewench]

A whole lot of people are at the end of their cope. You're pretty much right on schedule for a crying jag. We can't all be superhuman all the time.

*Hugs* I hoped it helped to have a good cry.

[penwiper]

I'm actually really impressed that you made it this far without sobbing - you're pretty tough! I hope your tea this past weekend helped!