i guess it's time to update

Okay now that two people have actually asked me why i haven't updated in so long I guess it's time to update, never realized anyone actually READ it lol.

so my life...well it's been life, ups and downs and ups and downs. currently i'm kinda in the leveling off, when it was headed up and just kinda seems to be coasting, not up or down just coasting.

I auditioned for Mike's play today, went well I guess, I really hate auditions :-)
Got cast in Erin's Directing scene when she said "hey will you be in my directing scene"

Josh and Brian were here tonight which was fun, they remind me of the best cross of the tech boys and the howie and chris in high school, pleasant in their own delicious way. I can always use more guy friends, funny how I always seem to end up friends, whether i want that or not, I'm a very good girl to just be friends with I guess, whether I want that or not.

hmm i don't really have a lot to say, the cloudy mood that seemed to have been hovering over me seems to be lifting, perhaps that comes with being busy or making new friends my two favorite subjects.

It's funny how as my eyes begin to droop with sleep I actually have my deepest thinking and realize what I want the most. I want to cuddle with someone other than my frog, for now i shall keep to myself who i would prefer. lol. perhaps though everything will work out for the best. i'm not in a dumb mood, aka i dont' really feel like getting hurt at the moment, things are just starting to go wonderfully i don't feel like it all coming crashing down. apparently things are to be forgotten, i guess i can work with that. i guess. you know i think my very tired brain is starting to very quickly run very far away from me...time to hit the sack...oh yeah i gotta get up in four hours! wheeeee yay for registration

i guess it's time to update

Okay now that two people have actually asked me why i haven't updated in so long I guess it's time to update, never realized anyone actually READ it lol.

so my life...well it's been life, ups and downs and ups and downs. currently i'm kinda in the leveling off, when it was headed up and just kinda seems to be coasting, not up or down just coasting.

I auditioned for Mike's play today, went well I guess, I really hate auditions :-)
Got cast in Erin's Directing scene when she said "hey will you be in my directing scene"

Josh and Brian were here tonight which was fun, they remind me of the best cross of the tech boys and the howie and chris in high school, pleasant in their own delicious way. I can always use more guy friends, funny how I always seem to end up friends, whether i want that or not, I'm a very good girl to just be friends with I guess, whether I want that or not.

hmm i don't really have a lot to say, the cloudy mood that seemed to have been hovering over me seems to be lifting, perhaps that comes with being busy or making new friends my two favorite subjects.

It's funny how as my eyes begin to droop with sleep I actually have my deepest thinking and realize what I want the most. I want to cuddle with someone other than my frog, for now i shall keep to myself who i would prefer. lol. perhaps though everything will work out for the best. i'm not in a dumb mood, aka i dont' really feel like getting hurt at the moment, things are just starting to go wonderfully i don't feel like it all coming crashing down. apparently things are to be forgotten, i guess i can work with that. i guess. you know i think my very tired brain is starting to very quickly run very far away from me...time to hit the sack...oh yeah i gotta get up in four hours! wheeeee yay for registration

i guess it's time to update

Okay now that two people have actually asked me why i haven't updated in so long I guess it's time to update, never realized anyone actually READ it lol.

so my life...well it's been life, ups and downs and ups and downs. currently i'm kinda in the leveling off, when it was headed up and just kinda seems to be coasting, not up or down just coasting.

I auditioned for Mike's play today, went well I guess, I really hate auditions :-)
Got cast in Erin's Directing scene when she said "hey will you be in my directing scene"

Josh and Brian were here tonight which was fun, they remind me of the best cross of the tech boys and the howie and chris in high school, pleasant in their own delicious way. I can always use more guy friends, funny how I always seem to end up friends, whether i want that or not, I'm a very good girl to just be friends with I guess, whether I want that or not.

hmm i don't really have a lot to say, the cloudy mood that seemed to have been hovering over me seems to be lifting, perhaps that comes with being busy or making new friends my two favorite subjects.

It's funny how as my eyes begin to droop with sleep I actually have my deepest thinking and realize what I want the most. I want to cuddle with someone other than my frog, for now i shall keep to myself who i would prefer. lol. perhaps though everything will work out for the best. i'm not in a dumb mood, aka i dont' really feel like getting hurt at the moment, things are just starting to go wonderfully i don't feel like it all coming crashing down. apparently things are to be forgotten, i guess i can work with that. i guess. you know i think my very tired brain is starting to very quickly run very far away from me...time to hit the sack...oh yeah i gotta get up in four hours! wheeeee yay for registratio

i guess it's time to update

Okay now that two people have actually asked me why i haven't updated in so long I guess it's time to update, never realized anyone actually READ it lol.

so my life...well it's been life, ups and downs and ups and downs. currently i'm kinda in the leveling off, when it was headed up and just kinda seems to be coasting, not up or down just coasting.

I auditioned for Mike's play today, went well I guess, I really hate auditions :-)
Got cast in Erin's Directing scene when she said "hey will you be in my directing scene"

Josh and Brian were here tonight which was fun, they remind me of the best cross of the tech boys and the howie and chris in high school, pleasant in their own delicious way. I can always use more guy friends, funny how I always seem to end up friends, whether i want that or not, I'm a very good girl to just be friends with I guess, whether I want that or not.

hmm i don't really have a lot to say, the cloudy mood that seemed to have been hovering over me seems to be lifting, perhaps that comes with being busy or making new friends my two favorite subjects.

It's funny how as my eyes begin to droop with sleep I actually have my deepest thinking and realize what I want the most. I want to cuddle with someone other than my frog, for now i shall keep to myself who i would prefer. lol. perhaps though everything will work out for the best. i'm not in a dumb mood, aka i dont' really feel like getting hurt at the moment, things are just starting to go wonderfully i don't feel like it all coming crashing down. apparently things are to be forgotten, i guess i can work with that. i guess. you know i think my very tired brain is starting to very quickly run very far away from me...time to hit the sack...oh yeah i gotta get up in four hours! wheeeee yay for registratio

i guess it's time to update

Okay now that two people have actually asked me why i haven't updated in so long I guess it's time to update, never realized anyone actually READ it lol.

so my life...well it's been life, ups and downs and ups and downs. currently i'm kinda in the leveling off, when it was headed up and just kinda seems to be coasting, not up or down just coasting.

I auditioned for Mike's play today, went well I guess, I really hate auditions :-)
Got cast in Erin's Directing scene when she said "hey will you be in my directing scene"

Josh and Brian were here tonight which was fun, they remind me of the best cross of the tech boys and the howie and chris in high school, pleasant in their own delicious way. I can always use more guy friends, funny how I always seem to end up friends, whether i want that or not, I'm a very good girl to just be friends with I guess, whether I want that or not.

hmm i don't really have a lot to say, the cloudy mood that seemed to have been hovering over me seems to be lifting, perhaps that comes with being busy or making new friends my two favorite subjects.

It's funny how as my eyes begin to droop with sleep I actually have my deepest thinking and realize what I want the most. I want to cuddle with someone other than my frog, for now i shall keep to myself who i would prefer. lol. perhaps though everything will work out for the best. i'm not in a dumb mood, aka i dont' really feel like getting hurt at the moment, things are just starting to go wonderfully i don't feel like it all coming crashing down. apparently things are to be forgotten, i guess i can work with that. i guess. you know i think my very tired brain is starting to very quickly run very far away from me...time to hit the sack...oh yeah i gotta get up in four hours! wheeeee yay for registrati

i guess it's time to update

Okay now that two people have actually asked me why i haven't updated in so long I guess it's time to update, never realized anyone actually READ it lol.

so my life...well it's been life, ups and downs and ups and downs. currently i'm kinda in the leveling off, when it was headed up and just kinda seems to be coasting, not up or down just coasting.

I auditioned for Mike's play today, went well I guess, I really hate auditions :-)
Got cast in Erin's Directing scene when she said "hey will you be in my directing scene"

Josh and Brian were here tonight which was fun, they remind me of the best cross of the tech boys and the howie and chris in high school, pleasant in their own delicious way. I can always use more guy friends, funny how I always seem to end up friends, whether i want that or not, I'm a very good girl to just be friends with I guess, whether I want that or not.

hmm i don't really have a lot to say, the cloudy mood that seemed to have been hovering over me seems to be lifting, perhaps that comes with being busy or making new friends my two favorite subjects.

It's funny how as my eyes begin to droop with sleep I actually have my deepest thinking and realize what I want the most. I want to cuddle with someone other than my frog, for now i shall keep to myself who i would prefer. lol. perhaps though everything will work out for the best. i'm not in a dumb mood, aka i dont' really feel like getting hurt at the moment, things are just starting to go wonderfully i don't feel like it all coming crashing down. apparently things are to be forgotten, i guess i can work with that. i guess. you know i think my very tired brain is starting to very quickly run very far away from me...time to hit the sack...oh yeah i gotta get up in four hours! wheeeee yay for registrati

so many times now i seem to look back

I don't think in high school I spent nearly as much time remembering the past, perhaps because I didn't have as much life to look back on, or because life had always been pretty much in the same vein. I knew who i was, where I was, and in what direction I was headed. Losing the security has been the most wonderful and most frightening experience of my life.

anyway i spent a lovely chunk of time just remembering. all the people who I never talk to and i really wish I still did. I slowly sorted through a stack of pictures my mother finally developed this fall and sent to me on my birthday. pictures from Macbeth, pictures from parties. every glossy image vividly bringing back a moment. One is of tom and I, this must have been when we were dating based on the other photos on the roll. we're sitting in my living room and his arms are around me. my legs curled up. we look so happy goofy smiles on both our faces, i admit i see more beauty in his image than mine but i look for flaws within my self. althought i was struck by how both of us had that summer skin that seems to glow alittle. other photos reveiled Josh and Andrew, who I never seem to speak to anymore, and I genuinely with I hadn't lost touch with them. I don't even remember why we don't seem to talk anymore. more of life's growing pains i suspect. There are so many others I don't talk to anymore, Megan, and Megan. Two of may amazing friends who seem to never encounter me anymore, Colleen, danielle, nora the list could go on and on. Then I found VH1's "top 100 love songs" and pulled out my last two photo albums...ahh memories. here's the thing I'm not depressed or discouraged with life, Heck I had a great time at late night tonight with friends, but it's a bittersweet thing.

I sat at late night for the first hour or so and just seemed to zone out and stare to the right above the door, just above the in the bag coolers. I felt like if i stared hard enough I'd find the answers I've been looking for the past few days, but no answers came. I know the answers are around here, I just can't grasp them. Perhaps because I can't find the questions..

so many times now i seem to look back

I don't think in high school I spent nearly as much time remembering the past, perhaps because I didn't have as much life to look back on, or because life had always been pretty much in the same vein. I knew who i was, where I was, and in what direction I was headed. Losing the security has been the most wonderful and most frightening experience of my life.

anyway i spent a lovely chunk of time just remembering. all the people who I never talk to and i really wish I still did. I slowly sorted through a stack of pictures my mother finally developed this fall and sent to me on my birthday. pictures from Macbeth, pictures from parties. every glossy image vividly bringing back a moment. One is of tom and I, this must have been when we were dating based on the other photos on the roll. we're sitting in my living room and his arms are around me. my legs curled up. we look so happy goofy smiles on both our faces, i admit i see more beauty in his image than mine but i look for flaws within my self. althought i was struck by how both of us had that summer skin that seems to glow alittle. other photos reveiled Josh and Andrew, who I never seem to speak to anymore, and I genuinely with I hadn't lost touch with them. I don't even remember why we don't seem to talk anymore. more of life's growing pains i suspect. There are so many others I don't talk to anymore, Megan, and Megan. Two of may amazing friends who seem to never encounter me anymore, Colleen, danielle, nora the list could go on and on. Then I found VH1's "top 100 love songs" and pulled out my last two photo albums...ahh memories. here's the thing I'm not depressed or discouraged with life, Heck I had a great time at late night tonight with friends, but it's a bittersweet thing.

I sat at late night for the first hour or so and just seemed to zone out and stare to the right above the door, just above the in the bag coolers. I felt like if i stared hard enough I'd find the answers I've been looking for the past few days, but no answers came. I know the answers are around here, I just can't grasp them. Perhaps because I can't find the questions..