didyou know the 50's was the era of cleavage?

there's a lot tumbling through my mind. The largest of which is that I want to sit here and hate myself cause that's a comforting feeling. If no one cares aobut me it makes sense if I can figure out why i'm horrible. however I can't seem to go back to that point in my life. I know i have a hell of a lot of flaws, but I also know i have a lot of great stuff about me. but somehow the time is never right, the people are never right and i'm not quite good enough, right enough, pretty enough. and that's starting to wear me down. but it's odd how easily i can step away from it and be fine. perhaps i'm looking to be upset becasue I don't know how to simply accept that i'm not good enough in this moment and move on. ::shrug:: who knows, certainly not me. it might have something to do with the shit load of work i have due this week. I have to finish my dress, three papers for acting, a paper for theater history, an exam on friday, then finals all next week (yes i have an exam on the last day of class in Anthro then a final in a week...i don't get it either). vacation is gonna be really nice. i'm gonna curl up in my room pull a blanket over my head and tell the world to go away, i'll get up to use the bathroom and go to work. that's it. :-) well i think it'st ime to go to bed. in the morning the sun will shine and the air will be clear and cold, and i'll feel better than i do tonight :-) g'night world

didyou know the 50's was the era of cleavage?

there's a lot tumbling through my mind. The largest of which is that I want to sit here and hate myself cause that's a comforting feeling. If no one cares aobut me it makes sense if I can figure out why i'm horrible. however I can't seem to go back to that point in my life. I know i have a hell of a lot of flaws, but I also know i have a lot of great stuff about me. but somehow the time is never right, the people are never right and i'm not quite good enough, right enough, pretty enough. and that's starting to wear me down. but it's odd how easily i can step away from it and be fine. perhaps i'm looking to be upset becasue I don't know how to simply accept that i'm not good enough in this moment and move on. ::shrug:: who knows, certainly not me. it might have something to do with the shit load of work i have due this week. I have to finish my dress, three papers for acting, a paper for theater history, an exam on friday, then finals all next week (yes i have an exam on the last day of class in Anthro then a final in a week...i don't get it either). vacation is gonna be really nice. i'm gonna curl up in my room pull a blanket over my head and tell the world to go away, i'll get up to use the bathroom and go to work. that's it. :-) well i think it'st ime to go to bed. in the morning the sun will shine and the air will be clear and cold, and i'll feel better than i do tonight :-) g'night world