I haven't updated this in forever

okay i haven't updated this in a long while, not that anyone reads it but I think someday I'll need the record when I write my tellall memoriors make millions and shame the pants off some people...
I went to visit Schmidty. I love that boy so much, I wish a relationship with him felt right, but it just plain doesn't, and I don't know why. but if he needed a kidney I'd be lying on the operating table saying TAKE MINE before he finished telling me he needed it.

Since returning home I have relearned what it means to hate someone. I had forgotten what the cloying feeling in the back of your mind is where you want them dead. Once the floodgates were opened it seems the rage I have long denied is easily directed at others.
there is nothing I hate more than people who lied. I love Amy Bennett because I know it's not in her caracter. if she thinks i'm being a shit head she'll tell me. other people dance around the bush. if you have a problem with me fucking tell me. i appreciate it. on the other hand the only think i hate more than people who lie TO me is people who lie ABOUT me. I think there are some people who are just plain evil, and one of them has haunted me since sixth grade. hell's waiting.
the other disturbing thing to me is how used to being unhappy i have become. it's almost second nature to feel lonely now. I hope when i start work at old navy next week i'll meet some new people who will not lie, and will not cheat, and will not have an image of me in their heads. I am not who most people seem to think of me as. the annoying, prude little girl who's almost smart but not whitty, and timid. The friends I picked in college are very diffrent than the friends I was given in high school. perhaps that is why home is no longer satisfying.

I haven't updated this in forever

okay i haven't updated this in a long while, not that anyone reads it but I think someday I'll need the record when I write my tellall memoriors make millions and shame the pants off some people...
I went to visit Schmidty. I love that boy so much, I wish a relationship with him felt right, but it just plain doesn't, and I don't know why. but if he needed a kidney I'd be lying on the operating table saying TAKE MINE before he finished telling me he needed it.

Since returning home I have relearned what it means to hate someone. I had forgotten what the cloying feeling in the back of your mind is where you want them dead. Once the floodgates were opened it seems the rage I have long denied is easily directed at others.
there is nothing I hate more than people who lied. I love Amy Bennett because I know it's not in her caracter. if she thinks i'm being a shit head she'll tell me. other people dance around the bush. if you have a problem with me fucking tell me. i appreciate it. on the other hand the only think i hate more than people who lie TO me is people who lie ABOUT me. I think there are some people who are just plain evil, and one of them has haunted me since sixth grade. hell's waiting.
the other disturbing thing to me is how used to being unhappy i have become. it's almost second nature to feel lonely now. I hope when i start work at old navy next week i'll meet some new people who will not lie, and will not cheat, and will not have an image of me in their heads. I am not who most people seem to think of me as. the annoying, prude little girl who's almost smart but not whitty, and timid. The friends I picked in college are very diffrent than the friends I was given in high school. perhaps that is why home is no longer satisfying.