I officially is fat

I decided last night with a smidge over two weeks to go till Dress U to see if I could lose 5lbs before Dress U. This doesn't seem unreasonable to me. So to get a good starting benchmark I weighed myself (153) and measured my waist HOLY CRAP IT'S 33 inches!!!!!!!!!! I'm pretty sure if I don't drop 5lbs now nothing I own will fit me then!!! When the hell did I turn into a giant ugly fat blob? How did I let this happen? I don't get it! Guess it's back on the calorie counting bandwagon for me.