a night of reflections

Normally when I spend a saturday night at home alone with a text book I walk away grumpy, feeling hurt and neglected, and unloved. however Tonight has made me realize just how much I have to be thankful for. I am so increadibly blessed, I have both parents still in my life and they have an amazingly loveing relationship still. I'm surrouned by amazingly people, artistically vibrant, politically varied, and overflowign with creativity. I am blessed to be attending such an amazing school (well for theater anyway) I'm lucky as hell that my family can afford to send me here, and feed me, and cloth me, I've never lacked for a necessity in my life, and I'm increadibly lucky for that. I've never had to break up with someone who was abusive to me, I cannot imagine how hard that must be, to love someone and want them to love you, i know how it feels to think about doing anything to make someone stay, I am glad I never had a boyfriend who capitalized on that. I am so proud of Amy getting herself out, I wonder if I would have the strength to, I like to think I would but who really knows. I'm thankful for Kevin for helping me continually discover more of life, and helping really make me a truley accepting person, you cannont accept what you do not know. I am thankful for jose for helping me finally learn that all i need to be is ME, I do not need to change who I am to be loved, and I should not ever change who I am because I believe another person wants me to. Maybe straighten my hair for them, but only on special occations. I am thankful for keaton for helping me understand the value of a regular nights sleep ;-) no insomina for me thanks (as i write at 1:22 am) I am thankful for my sister for being there whenever I needed someone to tellm e that that was not the correct thing to say, I needed help with social rules and the tough love she gave more than suited. and I am thankful for the internet for keeping me in touch with the friends who matter so much to me. I love each and every one of you.

okay my sentimental rambling is done..

a night of reflections

Normally when I spend a saturday night at home alone with a text book I walk away grumpy, feeling hurt and neglected, and unloved. however Tonight has made me realize just how much I have to be thankful for. I am so increadibly blessed, I have both parents still in my life and they have an amazingly loveing relationship still. I'm surrouned by amazingly people, artistically vibrant, politically varied, and overflowign with creativity. I am blessed to be attending such an amazing school (well for theater anyway) I'm lucky as hell that my family can afford to send me here, and feed me, and cloth me, I've never lacked for a necessity in my life, and I'm increadibly lucky for that. I've never had to break up with someone who was abusive to me, I cannot imagine how hard that must be, to love someone and want them to love you, i know how it feels to think about doing anything to make someone stay, I am glad I never had a boyfriend who capitalized on that. I am so proud of Amy getting herself out, I wonder if I would have the strength to, I like to think I would but who really knows. I'm thankful for Kevin for helping me continually discover more of life, and helping really make me a truley accepting person, you cannont accept what you do not know. I am thankful for jose for helping me finally learn that all i need to be is ME, I do not need to change who I am to be loved, and I should not ever change who I am because I believe another person wants me to. Maybe straighten my hair for them, but only on special occations. I am thankful for keaton for helping me understand the value of a regular nights sleep ;-) no insomina for me thanks (as i write at 1:22 am) I am thankful for my sister for being there whenever I needed someone to tellm e that that was not the correct thing to say, I needed help with social rules and the tough love she gave more than suited. and I am thankful for the internet for keeping me in touch with the friends who matter so much to me. I love each and every one of you.

okay my sentimental rambling is done..