Ba Humbug

I love Christmas. I mean love. I put the decorations up the day after thanksgiving, I gleefully try to come up with perfect presents. I love the music, seeing everything decorated. Hell I volunteered to open on Black Friday so I could wear a santa hat around being silly...but this year our budget is just stretched tighter than a drum. And I confess it's really taken away my ability to enjoy the season. Instead I'm stressing about rent $, electric $ and how the hell will I eek some presents for my family if not all my friends out of that :-( I know my family really wouldn't care if I showed up empty handed but the point is that I care. I work TWO FUCKING JOBS how is it I can't afford life? oh right Rob's having a stupidly slow month, things keep getting cancelled. He was sick for two weeks and wasn't editing anything. Even when Rob's not bringing in income he still has to pay all the business related expenses. We have to keep the fancy internet, we have to pay for the equipment loans, we have to upgrade the software. In one shoot he makes what I make in a week. So when he's working it's great. But if it's just me? no matter how much I bust my arse we're short. And Christmas just isn't fun when you're broke.

I just want Christmas to go away. I shall be hiding under my blanket if you need me.