I need to talk about this
Jan. 25th, 2019 11:14 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
robinsnest I totally understand if my potential parenthood isn't interesting to you, but honestly it's a huge THING that we're starting to unpack, and well I need to unpack it. So feel free to skip if my OBGYN planning isn't of interest.
So I've never had regular periods, I didn't have my first period till I was 17 and I often only have 2-4 a year. My previous OBGYNs were never really concerned about it. I wasn't in pain, and yeah my periods are heavy not not like "medically concerning" heavy. And we kept putting off the whole "lets have kids" thing. Mostly because 1) kids are expensive and 2) Rob wasn't really healthy enough. But Rob's been diligently going to therapy and the psychiatrist and he's the healthiest he's been in a while. And frankly if I wait till we 100% can afford it we'll never even think about a kid.
There'll be several factors that greatly influence our kids. First off Rob's on a hefty dose of an SSRI which puts ones labido in the toilet, and he still finds the idea of the life changes that would come with kids very overwhelming. so I'm not sure even if my ovaries work we'll get there. But...if I don't find out and I don't know I don't know that I'll be able to get over the deep hurt that comes with the achy not knowing. If I find out "you'll need $50k of IVF then well, it's just not meant to be and I can work on acceptance and the other ways my life will change and grow. But for the moment all I have is a big "what if"
So I made an appointment with a new OBGYN, my old one was a nurse midwife who told me she'd have to refer me to an MD for anything abnormal and then their practice got absorbed into another practice and this one was so highly recommended...I called the office in November but the Dr who specializes in this kind of issues didn't have an opening till Jan 21st so I only just went on Monday.
She said women with oligomenorrhea (oligo = few, menorrhea = periods) meaning less than 6 a year often are fully functional they just don't ovulate. and frequently it just requires a little pharmaceutical "nudge" with clomid. I asked her about PCOs and she did think that was certainly possible, it's so common but that again it wasn't anything we couldn't easily tackle. Actually I really loved her demeanor in general. A+++ bedside manor, listened to me, put me right at ease, supportive. I was super happy with her. Anyway we have a plan.
She wants to check my labs on day 3 of my period. Which is what the previous person also wanted but unlike the last time she definitely "got" that I just had one in December "so I don't want you to have to wait 6 months" So she put me on a 5 day stretch of medroxyprogesterone and then a week after I come off that I should get a period. I'll have blood work to check my hormones on day 3 and day 23 of my cycle. Then I made an appointment 6 weeks out to go over labs and make a new plan. I took the first one today because I wanted to do my best to time it so I wouldn't be at work on day 3 and it wouldn't be a sunday. I fully expect my body to still screw me over and do one of the them despite my best counting.
Taking it this morning it suddenly all felt more "real" the idea of a pregnancy and not just a "someday that thing I won't be able to have" like I'm actually changing something in my body for this...I feel a lot of emotions.
So I've never had regular periods, I didn't have my first period till I was 17 and I often only have 2-4 a year. My previous OBGYNs were never really concerned about it. I wasn't in pain, and yeah my periods are heavy not not like "medically concerning" heavy. And we kept putting off the whole "lets have kids" thing. Mostly because 1) kids are expensive and 2) Rob wasn't really healthy enough. But Rob's been diligently going to therapy and the psychiatrist and he's the healthiest he's been in a while. And frankly if I wait till we 100% can afford it we'll never even think about a kid.
There'll be several factors that greatly influence our kids. First off Rob's on a hefty dose of an SSRI which puts ones labido in the toilet, and he still finds the idea of the life changes that would come with kids very overwhelming. so I'm not sure even if my ovaries work we'll get there. But...if I don't find out and I don't know I don't know that I'll be able to get over the deep hurt that comes with the achy not knowing. If I find out "you'll need $50k of IVF then well, it's just not meant to be and I can work on acceptance and the other ways my life will change and grow. But for the moment all I have is a big "what if"
So I made an appointment with a new OBGYN, my old one was a nurse midwife who told me she'd have to refer me to an MD for anything abnormal and then their practice got absorbed into another practice and this one was so highly recommended...I called the office in November but the Dr who specializes in this kind of issues didn't have an opening till Jan 21st so I only just went on Monday.
She said women with oligomenorrhea (oligo = few, menorrhea = periods) meaning less than 6 a year often are fully functional they just don't ovulate. and frequently it just requires a little pharmaceutical "nudge" with clomid. I asked her about PCOs and she did think that was certainly possible, it's so common but that again it wasn't anything we couldn't easily tackle. Actually I really loved her demeanor in general. A+++ bedside manor, listened to me, put me right at ease, supportive. I was super happy with her. Anyway we have a plan.
She wants to check my labs on day 3 of my period. Which is what the previous person also wanted but unlike the last time she definitely "got" that I just had one in December "so I don't want you to have to wait 6 months" So she put me on a 5 day stretch of medroxyprogesterone and then a week after I come off that I should get a period. I'll have blood work to check my hormones on day 3 and day 23 of my cycle. Then I made an appointment 6 weeks out to go over labs and make a new plan. I took the first one today because I wanted to do my best to time it so I wouldn't be at work on day 3 and it wouldn't be a sunday. I fully expect my body to still screw me over and do one of the them despite my best counting.
Taking it this morning it suddenly all felt more "real" the idea of a pregnancy and not just a "someday that thing I won't be able to have" like I'm actually changing something in my body for this...I feel a lot of emotions.
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Date: 2019-01-25 04:37 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2019-01-25 08:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-01-25 11:35 pm (UTC)The thing I've found about being a parent is that you only need to be a step ahead of the kid, that you will grow with your kid in your skills. I wouldn't have had a clue how to handle my 8 year old at first, to motivate her to clean her room. The step ahead for newborns is knowing all of 3 things they need - to be warm and loved, to have clean butts, and be fed. How you go about it doesn't matter as much as having done it. You'll learn what they need past those 3 pretty quickly, as you see what the baby responds to.
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Date: 2019-01-26 02:15 am (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2019-01-26 04:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-01-28 10:23 pm (UTC)Wishing you the best possible outcome, whatever that may end up being! *LoveHugs*
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Date: 2019-01-31 02:31 pm (UTC)If that's any help, there are many apps now to track your cycles and symptoms, I have used Clue for the last few years, and it has proven quite efficient even on my not so regular cycle.