it's been a long day

[robinsnest]

have you ever come home just wanting so badly to talk to someone and be held? I couldn't wait to give mike his anniversary present. I was all excited, i was gonna dress up fun for it too. but he called and he's not coming over. and i have no idea why but i'm crying now. WHY is beyond me, I had an amazing time out with the girls but i really wanted my mike tonight. and it got me thinking. I only have 20 more nights, and I don't think I'll see him tomorrow either. and of course i want him to hang out with his friends! i'm being stupid and selfish, but I need someone HERE to hold me. I'm scared. I love mike to death but I don't know if i can do the long distance thing. if it hurts me this much to be lonely won't it kill me to be so everynight? to NEVER have him here?

i must bet tired. and carrie got me stressed about what the fuck i'm going to do next year. i fall apart when tired and stress. good thing I'm spending tomorrow with mommy.