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still here
Dec. 31st, 2017 05:15 pm I keep sitting down to journal and staring at a blank cursor....Firstly thank you SO MUCH for the amazing gifts and cards. I am humbled and touched and feel so so loved. And very excited to start many a knitting project. I've already started a pin ball from a little kit from [Bad username or unknown identity: koshka_the_cat, i] haven't taken any photos yet as I'm still in the "knit 20 rows" and it's very boring. 14 rows in it's about 5/8"? I'm too lazy to find a ruler.
I haven't been on here a lot because the new job, while good, is currently taking a lot out of me. It's not that it's impossibly hard or anything, it's just hard that I'm not used to and haven't mastered. There's lots of skills and knowledge I haven't touched since nursing school. I had to go back and review ventilators and what all the numbers MEAN. So by the time I get up at 5:30, leave at 6:15, work from 7-7 and get home by 7:30 I kind of stare at the walls for a while, eat what food Rob puts in front of me and go to sleep. I think the 12 hour day will be awesome when I'm more adjusted and can enjoy my 4 days off a week (granted I'm still working 1-2 days a week at the OLD job so I'm working more than 40 hours a week).
Things with Rob actually seem to be a little better. It's small things like he'll do dishes without asking, or I came home one day and he had picked up the living room and dining room. He's seeing a therapist every week and had an appointment with a psychiatrist on Wednesday. So we have a plan to try adjusting his meds and while I want to skip ahead to the point of "we have a great medication plan that works and is test" I realize that's not going to happen. But I'll take the small boosts.
2018 feels like a big scary hole. Will I get this job under control so I'm not a zombie? Will I start to enjoy it and not feel like I'm barely keeping it together soon? Will Rob continue to improve? Will we get our finances right side up (PLEASE GOD)? I want to feel hopeful about the New Year. and I guess as I'm at heart an optimist I'm trying to think about the good. So I raise my glass to all of you my beloved LJ/DW friends. Thank you for being here for me when I need it and I promise to try and be better about posting.
I haven't been on here a lot because the new job, while good, is currently taking a lot out of me. It's not that it's impossibly hard or anything, it's just hard that I'm not used to and haven't mastered. There's lots of skills and knowledge I haven't touched since nursing school. I had to go back and review ventilators and what all the numbers MEAN. So by the time I get up at 5:30, leave at 6:15, work from 7-7 and get home by 7:30 I kind of stare at the walls for a while, eat what food Rob puts in front of me and go to sleep. I think the 12 hour day will be awesome when I'm more adjusted and can enjoy my 4 days off a week (granted I'm still working 1-2 days a week at the OLD job so I'm working more than 40 hours a week).
Things with Rob actually seem to be a little better. It's small things like he'll do dishes without asking, or I came home one day and he had picked up the living room and dining room. He's seeing a therapist every week and had an appointment with a psychiatrist on Wednesday. So we have a plan to try adjusting his meds and while I want to skip ahead to the point of "we have a great medication plan that works and is test" I realize that's not going to happen. But I'll take the small boosts.
2018 feels like a big scary hole. Will I get this job under control so I'm not a zombie? Will I start to enjoy it and not feel like I'm barely keeping it together soon? Will Rob continue to improve? Will we get our finances right side up (PLEASE GOD)? I want to feel hopeful about the New Year. and I guess as I'm at heart an optimist I'm trying to think about the good. So I raise my glass to all of you my beloved LJ/DW friends. Thank you for being here for me when I need it and I promise to try and be better about posting.
