falling apart
May. 5th, 2014 11:49 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
robinsnestI was supposed to start nursing school in two weeks. A great adventure. I bought my first day of school outfit. I was SO excited.
Apparently Villanova sent me a letter I didn't get. And I was supposed to send a deposit I didn't send. They gave my seat away.
I cannot stop sobbing. I cannot breath. I gave notice at work, I was ready for this change. Now I'm nowhere. They offered to defer my acceptance to 2015. Another year of scraping by, another year of working two jobs.
I am sobbing at the idea of having to tell everyone how I screwed up, how there's nothing I can do to fix it, how I'm a failure. I have never felt like such a failure. How am I going to tell my parents who were so proud. All the customers who were talking to me about my leaving. I feel so stupid for messing this up. I'm in a section of patho specifically for this program, I've been emailing with the director with questions. How did no one notice I wasn't in the program?
I don't know what to do. I want to curl up in a ball and never go out into the world again.
Apparently Villanova sent me a letter I didn't get. And I was supposed to send a deposit I didn't send. They gave my seat away.
I cannot stop sobbing. I cannot breath. I gave notice at work, I was ready for this change. Now I'm nowhere. They offered to defer my acceptance to 2015. Another year of scraping by, another year of working two jobs.
I am sobbing at the idea of having to tell everyone how I screwed up, how there's nothing I can do to fix it, how I'm a failure. I have never felt like such a failure. How am I going to tell my parents who were so proud. All the customers who were talking to me about my leaving. I feel so stupid for messing this up. I'm in a section of patho specifically for this program, I've been emailing with the director with questions. How did no one notice I wasn't in the program?
I don't know what to do. I want to curl up in a ball and never go out into the world again.
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no subject
Date: 2014-05-08 05:20 pm (UTC)