sewloud

I have the dreamwidth and all, but I like posting on LJ more as I'm more familiar, but I'd like to cross post so I'm sharing with as many of my community as possible...is it possible to set it up to cross post TO dreamwidth? I see it go the other way from deamwidth and I do know how to back it up but that seems annoying after every entry...

It works! 

Got home from Gramps' funeral yesterday. It was wonderful to see my family (everyone but three grandson's-in-law and two great-grands made it) but still really really hard.

I flew out on tuesday got in around 5 and change. Met at the airport by Uncle John and taken to "the Village" aka the community where G&G live...or I guess just G now. flights out were uneventful, dinner was institutional spaghetti. There were rounds of stories told and I cried like the waterworks I am. All went back and took over the hotel lobby for cards, beers, company and laughs. Gramps favorite way to be with us all. Wednesday was the funeral which felt kind of abstract to me as a non-church-regular. Granny was adamant that she didn't want anyone from the family speaking as that felt showy so mostly the pastor took the obituary and re-phrased things so that they were incorrect. Made one of my Uncles (happily married for like 20 years) single, changed schools, gave him new hobbies and other silly errors. They were expecting around 50 or so people and 150 showed up. that was really touching. The chruch guild that was promised to take care of laying out the food never came so Aunt Ruth and I scrambled to get that done without Granny realizing. Mostly I hid in the corner and cried, I didn't feel like making small talk with strangers and seeing the "box" there was hard. About ten years ago when G&G had a big pine tree taken down outside the vermont cottage Granny was only consoled with it's removal by having it made into the two "boxes" and they've sat in storage...Granny's still is. morbid? totally.
After the service we went back to the village and looked at old family photos, played card games and relaxed till dinner.
Thursday Molly (sister) and I flew back to Philly together via two very bumpy turbulent flights. Got home exahusted and nauseated. But Chris (brother-in-law) and my two neices met us for cheesesteaks and I felt a sense of balance in the world. As one generation ages and we say goodbye, a new one flourishes with all the joy and silliness that brings...still...how long till I stop crying anytime I think about him?

Gramps passed away around 7:30 this morning. My mother had stepped out to go check on Granny and as is so common (no really research has shown it) he joined the ranks of people who waited till their loved ones left and passed on. I am torn between grief and relief. He was suffering. He wasn't there. My spunky, loved, funny, clever, devoted and smart grandfather had left months if not years ago. He was just a shell, a slowly dying shell. And I know he'd have hated that....but that doesn't make it any easier to say goodbye.  I realize how increadibly blessed I am at the age of 33 to have just lost my first grandparent. But...even though I knew it was coming, in some ways wanted it to come so he could be at peace...my heart breaks.

Actually been trying to diligently work on things for New Castle. Dammit I want my plaid ballgown!

Plaid makes da best piping. Plus I love piping in general so there's that.

I got the bodice plaid pieces cut out the other day, pinned together and....*facepalm* THAT wasn't what I was going for.



Had to recut the front.


Muuuuuuuch better!

Trying to focus on the now and not the horrible doom and gloom I feel like is looming just off the horizen. The worst part is I feel like he has tainted my beloved Orange. Orange is a color of happy.

Anyway mandie_rw very graciously let us invade for a sewing day (might have been more gracious of her Mom). I went with a billion little pieces of Rob's pants and came out with almost completely finished fronts. I got the fall pieces all bound, lined and sewn together. Did break my brain a little though...Must remember when I blog about this pattern to include the very helpful tip for myself in the future that there WILL be a gab between the bottom of the slit and the front waistband extension, it's okay it gets bound with the fall binding! I stressed waaaaaay too much about that. Overall they're very obnoxious and plaid.

I need to try and get myself to work on them more this week...but tonight I'm gonna knit. 12 hour days just wipe me out.

Oh and I had a nice facetime with my Mom tonight, she heads back to Ohio tomorrow to be 24 hour care for Gramps. It's not a pretty thing and I feel deep sadness that a man who so adamantly did not want to be anything but independant is wasting away...Probably not helping my over all feeling of impending doom. For all that I'm already mourning his passing and know it's coming I also realize it's going to completely blindside me.

(Look Amanda I tagged things)